I know peope will say, it’s not their place. but if we don’t take the place for those we care about, we leave them in a position that could be worse off than had we at the minimum had eluded to something. I don’t believe that we should ever see something ahead and not either pray or speak and sometimes both. Sometimes we are a little cowardly when we leave it to people to just “go through” on their own, and furthermore if we are helpers one to another, then why would we leave it for someone else to just go through.

I would value it more if someone came and told me the truth, even if I didn’t agree, than them say nothing and there be a pitfall ahead. That to me is loyalty. Loyalty is like that scripture in Proverbs 27:6 “faithful are the wounds of a friend”

Its not fair to say you are a friend and not be willing to call it like it is. Fronting with the people you care about only really means that you don’t care more about them than you do yourself. self preservation says, instead of me putting myself out there, even if it may make you seem like a villain, I will pull back, do nothing and say nothing.

People in the church have this down. The church is full of self preservers, that would rather sit by and watch people fall than stick out a hand. but then have the nerve to have something to say when the person is on the floor. Rude… anyway, that’s a whole different blog.
anyway…
I’m glad that todays conversation was at minimum received with an open heart. The outcome is not up to me. It was just up to me to be a friend and speak.

I know that I have made the error in placing unreal expectations on people that are simply not capable of fulfilling those expectations either by choice, deficiency, or fear. Yet and still still, through every disappointment, I must still make a conscious decision to allow people to be who they are or are not, with no greater expectation.

This doesn’t mean to lower my expectations of good people, but just don’t expect everyone to be good. Some people just aren’t built that way (yet… saying that in hopes that we can all be mature). Its not up to me to be perfect, but in this process it is up to me to see that regardless of people, I can be the best me I am right now.

People that think they know me but focus on all of my weaknesses don’t really know me at all. Yes I have many weaknesses, but like EVERYONE we all have many things to work on. Anyone that says their list is small is a liar first to themselves and then to the people that they are talking to.
I know that with every weakness I have I have at least three areas that I have become stronger in. the best in me will always outweigh the bad in me.

In a teaching Pastor Melva did last night, she talked about the love walk, and this was a hard hitting message. (Although I thought it was funny that most of the ones that were shouting their hallelujahs and amens were the same people that I have watched be jerks and immature to people around them, thankfully I remained silent, I wanted to listen and not assume I had overcome this or arrived at a place where I could profess that I knew it all) I learned that through this process what is important to me is to forgive the ones who have not walked in love with me, and by that I would be stepping back into a love walk with them. I realized that within the love walk, I need to strengthen 1) my response to the hurt, being able to let go even when I know the other person knows they did something wrong and will not apologize 2) Not to mention that I sometimes am the hurter. in both cases, getting it right is the God way of walking in love.

I must raise my level of Love in either case, and maturity means that I look at not just what has affected me but what I have done to affect others.

Simply put, in some cases of this journey I have to do unto those as they have not done unto me, I need to do unto those as I would have them do unto me, and lastly do unto others as they may never do unto me.

Walking in love is a choice. And when it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with the people involved, it’s my heart position to God. It’s my relationship with Him that will cause me to live a life full of love to others, whether honored, respected, loved, mistreated, abused, forgotten and forsaken, beat up, bruised, cherished or hated.

In all of this, I will fulfill the law of God for God and God alone. he is the rewarder of my efforts, and him alone.

He loves me unconditionally, without restraint. He loves me fully and completely. That’s all that really matters. He will love me if no one else will.

I figured I would start writing them down in some order. Here goes:

1. Start an independent artist music management company.

This idea has been an idea for many years. I really have a heart to help other musicians and singers get their craft to the next level. God will put the pieces of this together in it’s time

2. Solidify ColorSplash Graphic Design as a business and hire another designer within the next year to two years.

3. Create my own line of funky artistic Christian t-shirts. My friend and I have similar visions, I am sure our paths will cross on this one at some point.

4. Record a live album.
I’m currently in the studio working on the first album, which is all studio mastered.

5. Write my book “The Colorful Pages of a Black and White life”.

6. Write my vocal training book and resource CD’s called ” The Unprofessionals Guide to Singing Professionally”

7. Begin traveling abroad

8. Record an album with my family.

9. Open my own Hair Studio.

That’s all I can think of right now. I will update as I remember the others, I know there is more.

The Lord said to me,” I will wound you to spare you” Its a phrase that I have come to see very intimately in the past month or so. See because we live in the flesh, there is a strong tendancy for us to be stubborn and prideful, unwilling to hear what He is really trying to say. After recently, my ears are open. Lets not put it just on flesh alone. We are given the power over the flesh. So most of the time if we are missing it, it’s US.

Well I will just speak for me.

I know that God is bringing some correction because he would rather us be wounded than be destroyed. Tonight I was praying about a specific situation that I believe God placed me around, but not it, to see this happen. Partly so that I knew that what he just did with me he will do with others.

I must learn to follow His Spirit and not allow ourselves to willingly disobey God, especially when we see the roadblocks he has put up with big red signs saying DO NOT ENTER.

I pray that the reader of this understands that if you were lead to read this in it’s entirety, then it’s possible that God too could be speaking to you.

We cannot afford it any longer to walk delibertely against what HE says. It’s a matter of life or death.

Some may think it might be a bit hypocritical to say this and say that I did it and he had to correct me, and still is. I will just say this, if you read this and you don’t see you first, then read again for you not me.

God doesn’t want to have to allow things to happen for us to see that he’s right and were not. Were not even close. His Word says that our thoughts are not his thoughts nor his ways our ways.

Please if you are being warned about something. Repent and get it right. Deal with the issue, don’t run, don’t pretend its not there. If he says not to do something, regardless of your reasoning, don’t do it! He knows what’s best.

And if you are trapped into a decision you’ve made that was wrong, repent and pray for the eyes to see the way of escape that is already there.

Also make sure that you do not confuse or mis-appropriate what I am saying to something else. Do not confuse you trying to justify wrong, scripturally unbased decisions, you want to make with “God told me” it was right. If it doesn’t line up with his word, I can guarantee you, it’s not him.

We can’t afford to mess this up, were at a critical place.
If we really want his will, it will show. We will make the sacrifice, no matter how much it hurts, or irritates our flesh.

He’ll get his will out of you, that Word he placed in you will not return to him void, but he will allow you to be wounded to spare you.

Since I am already at ground level, I knew God right away was speaking to me, and I mean that by ground level is that I am not too high up that it didn’t apply to me. Oh it did, and right away he began showing me things, while PS was teaching. Right now my heart is so pliable to God that he could tell me anything and I would listen.

After Pastor Skip was done we went into a time of prayer and I remember praying that if this is what you are accomplishing in me during this time of brokenness, then I am not in a rush to get healed up, it can wait, because I am back together I WILL NOT be anything like I was.

Boy did the rivers of tears begin to flow, I want to be new, and in spite of what people think, God knows this! He is working in me something amazing. I know that this HURTS but I know without a shadow of doubt that it’s long overdue and needed. I am in no rush to end this process, he’s got my attention.

More to come!

If you didn’t know I have been in the studio working on my project “Restoration”, and I will say that the process has not come without it’s share of heartaches and times where God has had to restore me. I will say that it has been a journey and that I am still moving forward.

I refuse to lie and say that I didn’t or haven’t wanted to totally throw in the towel. Actually last weekend I made an attempt to run away. It failed.

Of course it did, God’s not gonna let me not fulfill his plan. He clearly knows better than I.

I have been working through what seems like many challenges all at once and through them God is teaching me some amazing things, some of which hurt to learn but are so powerful.

I will share more in my next post, when I am not updating from my iPhone …:) I’ll update again from my iMac…

All in all, its been a great time of transitioning. My best friend moved away, I moved out of one place into another but mainly, there has been a lot of dead issues in my heart that God has been dealing with. I mean dead in the sense that they were old things that should have been dead and were dead, I was still holding onto. I wont go into a lot of detail but I will say this. Brokenness is a beautiful place. Most people think of brokenness as a hard place to be, but if we are honest, most of the times its hard is because we are fighting God through the process. Its those moments of turmoil that take out our energy and our joy, but this process overall should be a sweet time because you really see how compassionate our God really is.

Our father loves to walk us through seasons of our lives, He loves to not only be our guide through them but also walk beside us.It gives a new meaning to the Psalm that says “Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me”. I am learning to walk patiently with the Lord through transitions, and as a result, even in my moments of fear or pain, He makes himself tangibly and visibly known to me. He is with me.

So for anyone out there who may be transitioning to a new place, or even transitioning back to confront some old things, God’s love is so strong for us, that He will not allow us to be alone in the process. He is there, step by step and day by day. And it doesn’t matter how dark it may seem, realize that because He is there, its only a shadow, and shadows don’t stay. This doesn’t mean that through the process you have to have it figured out. I surely do not, I don’t have a clue as to why He is taking me this way, but I have the faith to believe that He’s got me, He always has and He always will. I trust Him to see me to the end of this Transition

Ingredients are pork stock, pork, pork skins, corn meal, pork liver, pork heart, salt and pepper.
 
Why does this NOT sound healthy.